the soul felt its worth.

relationship with Jesus Christ is everything. it is everything.

this morning at church, we sang a song that included these lyrics: "in the glory of your presence, i find rest for my soul." this next section is from the traditional Christmas hymn, O holy night: "long lay the world, in sin and error pining, till he appeared and the soul felt its worth." these have struck me profoundly this year.

to be quite honest, i have hardly had any Christmas spirit. no doubt, a combination of my current work environment and the manic state that things reach this time of year, in addition to a lack of discipline to be in the Word preparing my heart throughout this Advent season. yet as that glorious day approaches in just a week, its starting to sink in, just like these lyrics have over the last few days, that it would be devastating to be ill-prepared in my heart; my soul.

it has less to do with the fact that this comes once a year (we can truly celebrate the gift of Christ daily as we see His mercies afresh), and more to do with the fact that our hearts can so quickly become hardened to the things of God. all it takes is a busy season, a trial, some pain in our lives or even, illogically, a blessing to draw our eyes away from the Lord.

we must be humble to remember that without Him, our soul was nothing. we had no rest in the very deepest part of who we are-until He came offering His life in exchange for the death we deserved. we had no worth to the very deepest part of who we are-until He came to call us His own should we choose a life with Him.

i am trying to swallow down a large lump in my throat thinking about how messed up i am in sin. everyday, i fight it. we all do and yet the perfect and brilliant cloak of Christ's righteousness covers us when we become His child; His blood was enough for all the ugly i get tangled up in each day. that is all the Lord sees when He looks at us-Christ's righteousness on our behalf. in my mind, it is so easy to try to find ways to earn our position beneath that covering: giving to charity, exercising self-control, serving in the church, helping a friend, etc...its so easy to think that if we spend 'x' amount of time in the Bible each day, pray for our unsaved friends/relatives, or deny ourselves something every once in a while that we can, at the very least by good intentions, increase our position in God's sight.

it is not true. no matter who you are, where you come from, or how well you do/don't know the Bible...we have absolutely no contribution to the gift of salvation. we choose to receive this free gift and the rest happens as we learn to more quickly be face down on the ground before the Throne of Grace believing in His power, mercy and grace to renew our hearts. the old has passed. the new has come. you can't go back. once you've been with Jesus, you can't go back. you are changed beyond anything you can imagine. its truly a miracle.

so as Christmas comes this year, i want the deepest part of my soul to resoundingly glorify the arrival of that wee Child who so humbly changed everything for me.  "A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees! o hear, the angel voices! o night divine, o night, when Christ was born!" {O Holy Night}