the last week of work at Pottery Barn, especially the last day, was much more difficult than i thought it would be: lots of goodbyes with amazing women who have basically been family to me,
fear to let go of something i have poured my life into and cultivated over the last year and half and some abrupt conversations about my departure that should have happened earlier in the process.
it was tough. i always joke about how much i love quitting jobs...ha....which truly stems from my love of change and excitement to try new things. yet this was entirely different and not easy...at all.
despite all that, i was confident that God opened the door at Room & Board and knowledge of His hand in it all brought a sliver of hope that i clung to in that process of saying goodbye.
its friday and i have already been at my new job for a week! i am excited about this opportunity and still have a lot to figure out. my brain is overflowing with all kinds of furniture construction information, company culture principles and computer account codes. the company is proving to be as thorough with the training process as they were with my two-month interview process; for this, i am grateful.
we had a saying at Pottery Barn that you always have to "slow down to go fast." at first thought, it seems counter-intuitive yet it is essential. in any category of life we always strive to move faster, do better and be more productive but it doesn't work like that. you have to invest up front to get the results you want later.
you hear all the time with new companies about start-up costs. they can be overwhelming and when you are trying to launch something from scratch, you feel like you're bleeding time and money in an effort to simply position resources in support the long term goal. Room & Board is embracing this process of slowing down...they are halting the train to make sure i can jump on; not just run quickly beside hoping to catch the boxcar handle at some point. they are truly making sure i am safely situated inside the speeding bullet.
this is equal parts fantastic and frustrating. i am finding that everyday i have to throw expectations out the window. i went into this prepared to jump right into leadership training and floorset preparation (seeing as the only floorset they do all year is happening next week-ha!). the reality is that they are far less concerned about my preparation for floorset than i am-ha! it has been quite frustrating and doubt-inducing at moments; yet they are keeping their eyes steadily fixed on slowing that train down so they can speed up with me later. i suppose in the end i will be thankful!
after this first week, i am humbled by the reminder that my expectations need to be fluid. i am reminded with all the unexpected that has occurred over the last week, that my ONLY foundation should be in Christ; not in my previous experience, not in my excitement and passion for this new job, not in anything but Christ. confidence and experience is bound to fail, excitement and passion are bound to fade but Christ is steady. He is unchanging.
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Isa 26:3
i am thankful for the weekend ahead to recuperate and work towards loosening my grip on those pesky expectations that can truly pull our focus askew. :)
some things i've realized over the last week through all this change:
- slowing down is hard to do. really hard.
- commuting is not as 'simple' as i remember it to be. and i am using an entire tank of gas every two days. ugh.
- i'm sitting on my butt at least 3 hours a day in the car (1.5 hrs each way). i need to alter what i put into my body to stay healthy with less physical activity.
- i need to use that 3 hours wisely: prayer, sermons, etc...i need to keep my heart and mind healthy.
- i miss getting to go home for lunch.
- finding a place to just be by myself for a few minutes during the day is virtually impossible. the introvert in me is freaking out!
- knowing that i will move up there eventually, i am fearful about starting over in denver and being lonely again.
- communication continues to prove itself to be the foundation for everything: closure and new beginnings.